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UPDATE
Mar 23rd, 2006 by Clark Humphrey

Remember when we told you about Adele Ferguson, the troglodyte local political columnist who returned to infamy with a little piece about the goodness of slavery? Thanks to negative national publicity spread by weblogs, her editor has announced her contract won’t be renewed.

NORMAN SOLOMON'S…
Mar 21st, 2006 by Clark Humphrey

…always been one of those pundits with whom I agree but whom I don’t like to read. His usual schtick is to proclaim there’s a Big Truth out there the mainstream media won’t tell you, but then to pontificate about the media’s failings rather than just tell us this supposed hidden Truth.

But now, for once, he’s gone ahead and told us the Truth as he believes it to be. Specifically, that the Iraq War would still be the wrong thing to do even if it weren’t so incompetently waged.

SURE ENOUGH,…
Jan 27th, 2006 by Clark Humphrey

…the fake memoir schtick has indeed merged with the older fake Native American schtick.

NOVELIST JANE SMILEY BELIEVES…
Nov 27th, 2005 by Clark Humphrey

…big business and its wholly-owned politicians have so thoroughly and deliberately disassembled America’s social and economic infrastructure that we’re not a “superpower” anymore. That might actually be a positive thing. Let Time founder Henry Luce’s “American Century” pass into history, along with the “We’re Number One” chants, those expensive and bloody crusades on behalf of “democracy” (i.e., oil), the trashing of everything noble and hopeful about the human species in the name of shareholder value, and the glut of special-effects-leaden sequel movies in the world’s cinemas. Let’s go back to being one country among many.

NO, LITERALISTS
Nov 22nd, 2005 by Clark Humphrey

Weaving Women’s Words: Seattle Stories isn’t about weavers.

A MIDWEST U.S. ROCK BAND…
Nov 17th, 2005 by Clark Humphrey

…currently touring in Ireland submits its list of “bands and their corresponding authors.” Nirvana paired up with Wm. Burroughs is appropriate, since Cobain and Burroughs collaborated on a spoken-word CD single. Public Enemy/Langston Hughes and The Doors/Jack Kerouac also seem right, even though Kerouac was more of a jazz fan. Some of the other pairings, though, seem a bit odd, such as AC/DC with Julia Child and Tori Amos with Alice Walker.

LITE LIT
Oct 17th, 2005 by Clark Humphrey

Congrats to local boy Neal Stephenson and my personal idol David Foster Wallace for making Time‘s list of the “All-Time 100 Novels.” Still undeservedly missing: Edward Bulwar-Lytton, Jackie Collins.

A LEFTISH THEORETICIAN…
Aug 17th, 2005 by Clark Humphrey

…ponders the limits to that big buzz-phrase concept last winter among lefty bloggers, the “Reality-Based Community.”

TODAY'S BOOK REVIEW…
Jul 17th, 2005 by Clark Humphrey

…in the Seattle Times by yrs. truly concerns My Life in CIA by Harry Mathews, a deft little novella that blurs the line between fact and fiction.

WHAT HAPPENS…
Jul 12th, 2005 by Clark Humphrey

…when personal points of view sneak into that reader-written “online encyclopedia?” They get discussed in the section devoted to “Articles which may be biased.”

ANOTHER SOCIAL PROTEST MOVEMENT…
Jun 22nd, 2005 by Clark Humphrey

…with which I can heartily agree, the Apostrophe Protection Society!

HERE'S SOMETHING…
Jun 17th, 2005 by Clark Humphrey

…I can heartily endorse: Guys Read, a literacy and reading-promo program aimed at the young male mind. (Yes, males do have minds!)

CHUCK PALAHNIUK PONDERS…
Jun 5th, 2005 by Clark Humphrey

…what would happen if more people started living their ilves for the purpose of selling the movie rights.

OTHER GAMES, OTHER OUTCOMES
May 17th, 2005 by Clark Humphrey

This story takes place on a Sunday afternoon at a certain decidedly non-touristy Irish pub somewhere in the greater downtown zone. (I won’t name it, because I don’t want ’em to get into any potential trouble for continuing to serve visibly intoxicated patrons.)

On a large-screen TV, the injury-plagued Sonics were somehow clobbering the San Antonio Spurs, to even up their current playoff series at two games apiece (only to fall behind again in Game Five two nights later.)

The spectacle inside the bar, in front of the screen, was even more captivating.

The first thing you’d notice, had you been there, would have been the two very young, very thin, very drunk women, whooping and hollering and flirting with everyone in sight. One wore a Mariners cap; the other wore a Red Sox cap. They’d apparently been on a girls’-day-out at Safeco Field. I say “apparently” because, while they both talked at quantity and with volume, what they said didn’t always make sense.

Among their favorite flirting targets was a tall, lanky young man seated at the bar, clad in a sweatshirt and a backwards Seattle University cap. He spoke with well-practiced Eminem-esque body language and a fake-gangsta “wigger” accent. But the musical-legend references he uttered were not in praise of hiphop royalty but the Beatles and Stones.

Over the course of our very public chat, he mentioned to me and to the drunk women that he’d been faithful to his current girlfriend fora year and a half, a commitment he hadn’t previously thought himself capable of. He also listed a series of drug possession and dealing arrests he’d undergone between the ages of 11 and 18; now, at 24, he was proud to be out of trouble and planned to stay that way.

I observed all this, mostly silently, interjecting these three with questions only at strategic intervals. I was behaving as I often do, emerging into the public sphere only to hide inside my own mind (with the aid of a book and a Sunday crossword page).

Someone seated next to me was even more withdrawn. She was making no eye contact with anyone, except when she needed another drink. She concentrated on the careful penmanship she was applying to a hardbound journal, into which she’d spent the past hour writing (as she later mentioned) about an on-the-rocks relationship.

She broke the ice with me, asking how my puzzle-solving was coming along, and sympathizing with me about that one stubborn corner. But the gangsta wannabe was more adept about opening her up. I returned from a restroom break to find him and her deep in conversation. His voice had changed, the bombastic bravado replaced by a sensitive near-whisper. He insisted to the journal writer that she could make a living as a poet, which she countered with the time-worn adage that it just couldn’t be done. He told her she shouldn’t let her soul be held hostage by any loser boyfriend.

As their conversation became more intimate, I redirected my attention toward the basketball game. About 45 minutes later, the poetess stumbled her way off of her bar stool and around me and the other patrons. She’d previously done as great a job of hiding her state of inebriation as she’d done of guarding her feelings. The white-gangsta dude did his best to keep her from falling down. I asked him to make sure she got home OK; he assured me he would.

After those two left, the thin drunk women (who’d left the bar in the company of an older man and had since come back) reasserted their command on the other bar patrons’ collective attention. They made big, loud, repetitive comments about the joys of chicken wings with Miller Lite. Somehow, I ceased caring.

IN WHAT MIGHT BE…
May 17th, 2005 by Clark Humphrey

…the first local case of its kind, an area man was legally chastized for remarks made on his weblog. You just gotta keep an eye on those anger-prone orchestra musicians. (Here’s the blog in question, now shorn of the disputed content.)

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